I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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