Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
