it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
