at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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