I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My cat gives me a boner
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
