Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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