need another drink. this is the easiest way
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
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Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
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Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize