Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
