I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He better not be in your backpack
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
