he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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