ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
