your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
