We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
