dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
