I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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