the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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