I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
