It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
