I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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