i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Come on in and take your pants off
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