Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize