I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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