i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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