Having a random hookup so left but love u
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
