you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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