I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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