I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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