I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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