Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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