I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
