i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
