if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
