it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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