Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
