Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
