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• (213): View more from California

  whats up tonight?

  (408): View more from California

  Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.

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• (956): View more from Texas

  Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  If this party got busted it would be an improvement

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Aw.

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• (408): View more from California

  Holy high batman

  (408): View more from California

  The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!

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