I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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