It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.