You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
barbara walters just said penis...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Are we still banned from the library?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.