Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
