Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
