so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
