is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
