direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
