Yo dont text me then not text me
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
