I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm jealous of your bromance
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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