If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Randomize
