Dual....:-)
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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