You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
