one two three fourrrrnication!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There r osticjed everywhere
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
