Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
