you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
