Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
