OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
