Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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