Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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