Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize