Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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