Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
