He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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