It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
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How's work?
Spinning.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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