Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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