They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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