I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
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I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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