just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
